What's in a Name

Bob, folks who knew him rarely called him by his

first name.

Of course Robert would be his legal first name,

but those who knew him would not usually

address him as that either.

People call me, “Fletch,” that’s short for, Fletcher,

which, you guessed it, is my last name.

Fletch it is then, I said.

My first day at The Saum Apartments, moving in,

I met Fletch on the sidewalk about to walk his dog,

King.

I had my dog, Apollo, in toe, and he seemed to get

along with King very well. No barking, just casual

butt sniffing—“getting to know you” between the two.

People introduce themselves differently, thank

God, with a handshake and the exchanging of

first names.

This would be the perfect time for me to come up with

a catchy nickname of my own.

How would Fletch ever know that this would be the

first time in history anyone would know me by other

than my actual name, Christopher, or Chris for short.

Some neat moniker would give me a new life, a

pseudonym, you know, like famous writers and artists

do sometimes.

How de do? I could say, I’m Slim, glad to meet you.

That might be believable for I am 6’3” and lanky.

Tex or Duke would be cool, but I never was the cowboy

type, besides I was born and raised in Missouri.

I had second thoughts, whatever name I came up with,

I’d eventually have to explain.

My last name wasn’t conducive to shortening like his.

How can one successfully modify a name like, “Hanch?”

People used to constantly ask my Dad and me,

How do you spell that?

Hanch, like in “ranch” except with an “H” instead of

an “R” we’d always explain.

Once my now deceased wife was asked her last name

at a party.

And when she told the woman questioning her,

Hanch, the woman

raised her eyebrows in surprise, and said to her, “That’s

not a very pretty name.”

“Fletch,” I said to my new friend and neighbor,

my names is Chris.

You call me anything else, and I’m liable not to answer.

                                 -30-

Chris Hanch 5-16-2020