What and Where I Need to Be

When I grow up, I wanna be…And you could reel off

half a dozen dreams of who or what you would aspire

to be—someone noteworthy,

someone of valor and prestige,

someone with knowledge and talent,

someone admirable who really, really

excelled at what they did.

Mostly someone gifted who enjoyed

every moment of the life they lived,

someone cautious with burning desires.

How many of you have ever achieved even a semblance

of what could have become of you in your lifetime?

You can’t do that, you’ve been told. You can’t make a

decent living doing such a thing. There are millions of artists,

musicians, writers, actors and dancers out there who never

achieve the limelight they seek. You need to bite the bullet,

bear your own cross and do what you need to do in order to

support yourself and others who rely on you for their security.

Never once did my parents ask me what I wanted to be when

I grew up. And thusly, they never prepared me for achieving

the reality my dreams. They were children of the Great

Depression and World War II. They themselves were raised to

do what they needed to do. The hell with your wishes and

dreams. They were given no choices; they knew no other way.

For them it was an open and closed book matter of sensibility—

you did what was expected of you.

And for years I carried that misguided sentiment drummed

into my head. And yes, it worked to some degree, but mostly

I was unfulfilled, unhappy, acquiescing to society.

But, after a lifetime spent as a regular 8 to 5, work-a-day

Joe, I was eventually able to break the mold.

In began when I became worthless to those who would

discourage and use me. It was then that I found worthiness

in myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for doing what needs

to be done. And now wiser at the age of 73, I find that all

which needs my doing has been done. And left behind is a

long line of misguided and unnecessary crap which no

longer needs to involve me.

Today, I scatter a breadcrumb trail of pictures and words which

appropriately and pleasingly defines me. Follow my course, and

at the end, that is where you shall find me.

                                       -30-

Chris Hanch 5-11-2020