Age 73 is Okay by Me

Some time ago I decided I wasn’t going to let them cut

into me, not for cancer, hip replacement or any other surgery.

Figured if I made it this far without invasive procedures,

no knives would be cutting away at me. Besides age 73 to me

seems a respectable period of time to be alive.

The stool sample I mailed in to the VA a few months ago

indicated some blood. The nurse practitioner asked if I had

hemorrhoids? And I told her, yes.

I’m sending some ointment which you can apply, and after a

week or so we’ll give it another try. No need to bother, I said,

I’m not going to have a colonoscopy anyway. Well then, that’s

entirely up to you was her reply.

73 years is plenty long enough for me to be alive. Had I been

born a hundred years ago, none of these medical procedures

would have been available anyway.

No probes, no snipping around my ass, no anesthesia, no knives.

They cut into my brother many times, kidneys, heart, stomach

and such. He went through years of hell and he wound up dead

anyway.

Same with my deceased wife, cut her open for by-pass surgery

and she only lasted a few more years. I’d rather take my chances

with a knife skirmish on the street. At least I’d have a fighting chance.

Years ago, I was put to sleep to have four wisdom teeth surgically

removed. Count backwards from 100 the anesthesiologist told me.

I believe I made it to 95 before I went out like a light.

No sir, no knives for me, no counting backwards for some dumb

ass anesthesiologist either.

I figure age 73 is a perfectly satisfactory lifespan number for me.

Got no one except my dog to spend the rest of my days with anyway.

As for 74, I’ll take my chances. We’ll see.

                                         -30-

Chris Hanch 5-24-2020