Monday, May 4, 2020

No Keys Required


Gave up my car and driving a few years back.
On the plus side, no more buying gas and oil, no
licensing and taxes, no more washing, waxing,
scraping of ice in winter, no more crazed drivers

on the Interstate, no driving round and round
looking for a parking space, no meter maids and
tickets or insurance to be paid. I can taxi, hitch
a ride, order by mail or do without. After 50-years

as an automotive slave, I can adapt. I wash my
hands as a liberated free man. (Eat your heart out
Henry Ford.) Two fewer keys to search for when
I’ve got to go and time’s running low. In fact, I

measure my key to success in life by how many
locks and keys I have managed to release. Only
two remain on my lightweight chain—one to the
front door of my apartment, and the other for the

mailbox, a renter’s “must have” at any rate. And
when I expire, you can cremate me along with
my keys, scatter my ashes over land or sea. Pitch
those two keys into the river and let them sink into

the deep. Management will change the locks on the
apartment door and mailbox anyway. And where I am
headed, I won’t care or have need for a single key. Free
from body, soul and keys, I tell you. Free! Free! Free!

                              -30-

Chris Hanch 5-3-2020

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