Never Say Never

Never say never. I have foolishly used never in my

lexicon of promices many a time before. On occasion,

I broke with the premise of never as never seems to

be inevitable whether or not I agree.

Besides, had I adhered to never, I would possibly elim-

inate a good deal of opportunities available to me.

As a child growing up Catholic I was told, under pen-

alty of eternity in hell, never eat meat on Fridays.

God couldn’t wait for me to die, though, so throughout

my life instead, he found ways to punish me.

For Christ’s sake, I said I was sorry for eating a hot dog

at my friend’s house that Friday when I was thirteen.

Eddie was Presbyterian and said it would be okay this

one time. And slathered with mustard, it was a mighty

fine hot dog indeed. Actually, truth be known, it tasted

much better on Friday than hot dogs I’ve eaten any other

day of the week. In confession that Saturday after the

damning frankfurter incident, I promised the priest,

said three Hail Mary’s and a Glory Be in repentance of

my sin; swear to God, I would never again…

Add another coal to the fires of hell should I fail once

more. Eventually, the rule had changed, and the Pope

decreed that it was now okay for Catholics to eat meat

on Fridays. Never saw that coming, did we?

Since then, I’ve tried lots of different brands over time,

but found that other hot dogs never tasted quite the same.

I’ve become a non-believer in my latter years. Never thought

that would happen either. But, you know, never say never.

I am frequently reminded of a similar proverb—Never say die.

Although I may refrain from saying it, and given my septuagen-

arian age and tenuous time remaining on Earth, irrespective of

word or deed, one day I’ll be forced to deny never one last time.

                                                               -30-

Chris Hanch 3-5-2020