As Seen on TV

Before dawn hopped on my Peloton, peddled

like hell, broke a sweat and still couldn’t get away.

More often than not, days are like that—

seems some things never change.

Tried Nordic Track, flew like bat out of hell,

found I got nowhere, legs pumping, perspiration

dripping as the rest of me remained stationary in place.

Tried drinking one of those low cal shakes,

stepped on the bathroom scale, saw no loss of weight.

Found I carry a few more pounds than medically safe;

muscle tone lacking, definitely out of shape.

Decided to switch to Sling TV rather than continue

paying Spectrum Cable’s exorbitant rate.

Placed myself on couch arrest. Now watching others

as they futilely attempt to achieve physical and

financial shape.

Pulled up Credit Seame app on my Samsung Smart Phone

and was pleased to see my lowest score of the day

had been successfully achieved.

Praise the Lord of all Creation...Hallelujah! Amen! Glory be!

                                -30-

Chris Hanch 3-14-2020