Saturday, June 13, 2020

A Portrait of Me at Age 15


Dad dropped me off at school, a new school for me,

a school I didn’t want to go to. At the time I wasn’t

interested in any school.


It had been Just my dad and me for the past few weeks.

I went with him after he and my mom had divorced.


We moved to Kansas City from St. Louis. And for me

it would be everything new, new city, new place to

live, new clothes, new bed (one of those collapsible

canvas cots you can’t turn over in), and of course the

new school.


At 15 in 1963, I hated school. I hated lots of things.

I hated my skinny body. I hated the pimples on my

face. I hated that Dad and Mom divorced.

I sat on the curb next to a filling station before school

smoking my first cigarette of the day.


After school I would smoke another before taking the

city bus home.


Dad wouldn’t be off work for a couple of hours yet.

Our apartment was a small one room studio, small

kitchen, small bathroom. I hated that place.


I hated that cot which I had to sleep on at night. I hated

the homework assigned me at school that day, and

decided that I’d rather get an F.


I opened the one apartment window. We were on the

third floor. I could see some of the city from there.


The LaSalle Hotel about a mile away stood about 10

stories high. I liked that building, especially at night

with its red neon light.


I lit my third cigarette and blew the smoke out the

window. Dad smoked too. He would never know.


                              -30-

Chris Hanch 6-12-2020



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