This is Where

This is where opossum and raccoon lie flat-

tened beside country roads smoking cigars.

This is where Walmart and Walgreen invade

small towns and big cities brandishing wea-

pons while pushing drugs, handy wipes and

paper towels. This is where boll weevil and

woolly worm wear overcoats to breakfast,

where children grow into and become en-

tangled in the wiry beards of their forefathers.

This is were virtual reality became the sweet

tooth of society, rotting the enamel of adoles-

cent mentality, as Mount Rushmore was strick-

en with an acute case of periodontal disease.

This is where anthems are sung out of tune

in the key of C from brief cases carried by

castrated businessmen. This is where banty

roosters call out the names of Major League

ballplayers just before the World Series, where

nubile young women sew uniforms of chopped

liver for naked blue jays orphaned during the

Iraq war. This is where xylophones are played

by three fingered musicians who slobber relent-

lessly on their instruments. This is where the

nurse ran off with the physician after surgery.

The kidney transplant was successful. Thanks

for asking.

This is where the news breaks necks every day,

where sticks and stones thrown do break bones.

Here, the color chartreuse draws flatulent mos-

quitoes close to the vest, allowing hogwarts to fly

into the ears of unsuspecting widowed housewives.

This is Where the Sidewalk Ends, where time and

tide ride thin and oily-haired gelders in Columbus

Day parades. This is where runny noses are never

stopped and rarely if ever convicted. This is were,

infected with rabies, Batman and Robin have bitten

the legs of all the remaining street corner mailboxes.

And, the price of postage has gone up appreciably.

Oh yes, my friends, this is where it all happens,

each and every day, 24-7, except holidays and Leap

Year. Look around you, this is where Congress sus-

pended sessions and went home to their districts

for the remainder of the the 21^st Century. And not

even an amputee with a missing limb and half a brain

gives a flying shit. It’s hard to believe all this folly and

folderol is happening right here. Look, what’s that

going on over there. How are things working out for

you? Do you even care? Mustard makes the hot dog

taste much better.

-30-

Chris Hanch 1-23-2020