Directions

You know what I miss? Now, this

may sound silly to you, and some

younger folks won’t have a clue,

but I miss getting and giving direc-

tions.

There are directions on how to

bake a cake or fix a car, directions

on what medications to take with

or without food, directions on how

to assemble or what to apply, di-

rections how to correct a mistake,

ambiguous directions given by

Yogi Berra: When you come to a

fork in the road, take it.

Or sagacious directions like, when

you don’t know where you’re going,

any road will do.

Once when a friend gave me direc-

tions to get to his house, he asked

me if I knew where the Walgreen’s

was on 75^th and Metcalf? Why sure,

pass it every day, I replied. Well, my

place is nowhere near there, he

said with a grin. (Needless to say,

our relationship came into question

right then and there.)

In this age of electronic wizardry

and cyber technology, my friends,

where GPS can get you most any-

where on Earth by verbally letting

you know in no uncertain terms

which way to go—turn left here,

take take a right over there, and

a quarter mile past the golf course

at the corner of Red Bridge and Pine,

take a left and enter the Interstate

on-ramp headed West.

Blah! Blah! Blah! La-de-dah! As for

me personally, I miss the good old

days and some of those no-nonsens-

ical old fashion ways. But then, it’s

no longer any skin off my nose. I’m

a shut-in nowadays, haven’t owned

a vehicle in several years. Detested

driving in traffic with all those ma-

niacs anyway.

I had a guy pissed off with me once

for giving him bogus directions. Had

the nerve to tell me to go straight to

hell. Looking forward to it, I told him.

Heard it’s not so bad in winter. Keep

it up, Buddy, I snickered. I’ll be meet-

ing up with you again. Won’t need a

GPS either. I’m betting, sooner or later

and given the directions our lives have

taken, the both of us are bound to

get there.

               -30-

Chris Hanch 1-30-2020