Whiskers

My wife, rest her soul, had a friend who was cynically of a

mind that bearded men had secrets to hide. Couldn’t trust

‘em far as you could throw ‘em, she often swore. I was one

of those who wore and supported facial hair as part of my

life, and vehemently disagreed. If women can wear makeup,

surely a man can sport what comes naturally. And to her un-

just supposition, I replied, facial hair on a man is as natural

as whiskers on a walrus. And, dear lady, they are not predis-

posed to fake it or tell a lie. So, not willing to see eye to eye,

and in order to retain her friendship with my wife and me, we

both respectfully agreed to disagree. Now most fittingly, my

beard was red with fire like me when I was a younger man.

And now with the onset of old age, it has turned gracefully

gray. Something to hide? I have a secret storage bin tucked

safely away in the recesses of my brain for that, but my beard

exposed out in the open for all to see holds no secrets. It says

just about anything you’d want to know about me, past, present

and future. And I plan on taking this hairy face of mine as a fuzzy

badge of manhood to the grave with me. And to women I say,

no need to shave your underarms or legs. I am way past my prime,

and have no plans on remarrying anyway. Any questions?

Chris Hanch 5-28-19