As Seen on TV (again and again)

 

I saw a commercial on TV the other day.

Having been in advertising years ago, I

learned how to quickly assess those an-

noying ones which air all too frequently.

I do, however, appreciate the clever ones

which give me an occasional pause to

chuckle.

Anyway, I missed the advertiser’s name,

but heard a line which prompted my in-

terest—First, eliminate who you are not.

Well folks over the years, I have done a lot

of that. I am not Michael Jordan or Patrick

Mahomes. I am not Michelangelo or Picasso.

I am not Whitman or Sandburg. I am not

MLK, JFK, FDR, Pee Wee Herman or Cap-

tain Kangaroo. I am no Hopalong Cassidy

or Roy Rogers, Albert Einstein or Carl Sagan,

no Lenny Bruce or Larry David, neither Bob

Dylan nor Beethoven nor Rube Paul.

I have, however, worn many hats in my

day, some too loose which blew away,

and a few which were too tight, restrict-

ing the blood flow to my brain.

I doodled, fiddled, piddled, and poked.

I hemmed and hawed, tinkered, diddled,

guffawed and gawked. I have been accused

of being irresponsible and a people-pleaser

to boot. And to those I say, screw it all, and

I totally agree with you.

So after a 73-year trial and error of this

life and times of mine, I find myself properly

placed as old and gray and riddled liberally

with sarcasm and arthritic pain. But I also

find that I’m a hell of a lot better off than

most of those guys mentioned above.

And as for that program Survivor on TV,

I find those yahoo contestants like most

of you viewers have as of yet not gone

nearly far enough.

                   -30-

Chris Hanch 9-29-2020