Topical for This Day and Age

I’m wondering how many of you out

there remember the telephone, not the

cellular or the smart kind which does

for you things you used to do manually

on your own, not the voice-activated

devices which transmit your communi-

ques around the world faster than you

can make it to the bathroom with and

urgent case of diarrhea? No, not those.

I’m talking the finger dial-able type which

kept you tethered to it, entangled with

an accordion cable which could only be

extended so far. Ancient enough to

remember those? We certainly have

come a long way in this technologically

advanced age. Even I, an old fashioned,

throwback guy have moved (albeit ever

so slightly) into the frenetic, speed of

light, cyberspace frey. Well, long story

short, I got a call on my flip-phone the

other day. I could see it was coming from

some undisclosed 800-number which made

me suspicious and hesitant in the first place.

But curiosity won out and I took the call

anyway. “Is the man of house available?”

the voice on the other end began. I knew

right away where this was going. Granted

with cell phones today, there are fewer

of these bothersome solicitation calls than

we used to get back in the day, Even one

ever so randomly is still irksome to me.

“Who’s calling? I asked. “Sir, this is the

So-and-so with the Fraternal Order of

Police and…” “Thank you, I’m not inter-

ested,” I interrupted mid-sentence in his

pitch. “I’m an ex-con still on probation,”

I proudly proclaimed. Actually, I have

never been convicted, nor have I served

any time in my life, but that fabricated

line I threw back at the caller was more

in keeping with the times. (Letting Prince

Albert out of his can wouldn’t be nearly

as topical in this modern day and age.)

Anyway, I hung up before he could get

another word in edgewise. “Hung up,”

now there’s a phrase which is still widely

used even though with a cell-phone one

doesn’t actually “hang up.” these days.

Chris Hanch 10-8-18