The Man I Used to Be

Marriage, a great institution for some,

you know those who have managed 40,

50, 60 years, even more. I have tried two

and a half times with little to no success.

That half-try was 6-years living with a

woman I never married. We discussed it

casually a couple of times. Lovely woman,

got too comfortable, though, and needed

to move on. Stagnation is a terrible thing.

Seventeen years struggling with the first

marriage which was never really meant to

be in the first place. Not all her fault, just

a mismatch of personalities from the be-

ginning.

The third try lasted some twenty years off

and on. The two of us had our heads screwed

on wrong—drugs, alcohol and depression on

both sides. Besides that wife died and put an

end to trying.

Settling down to the routine of everyday

with the same person has always been a

problem for me. At seventy-three now and

not able to move around so much, I find

companionship with two small dogs and

staying home alone is an acceptable alter-

native for me.

There was a woman on Facebook who tried

to convince me that I needed a good woman

to take care of me. Too late for that, I told her.

I did my best to convince her, I’m way past

prime time. And looking at her picture on her

home page, I saw that she was way past hers.

The whole issue for me goes far beyond the

beauty is only skin deep bit. I just can’t stand

the thought of waking up in the morning

and making myself presentable inside and

out. And too thank God, for I’m no longer

half the man I used to be.

                           -30-

Chris Hanch 2-27-2020