Booze is the Only Answer

Booze is the only answer. There was a time

in my dad’s life when his response to most

questions asked of him would be a big grin

from ear to ear and his smart-ass retort,

Booze is the only answer. Dad had been

through a lot personally at the time—

divorce from my mom, job after job which

led nowhere, bills to pay with little or no

money to speak of. Indeed, he turned to the

bottle for some temporary relief. His second

wife, LaVonne was confused and posed her

quandary to me one day at their home when

my dad was in the bathroom: It’s beyond me

how your dad can get so intoxicated on one

beer? He’s been sipping on that one for an

hour, and he’s plowed. I, having no answer

either shrugged my shoulders and agreed,

it was mystery. LaVonne left the room to

fix dinner, and dad returned. He whispered

to me, Come here, and I followed him into

the bedroom where he opened the closet

door, reached up onto the shelf above and

pulled out a fifth of vodka. He took a big swig

and handed the bottle to me. I took a couple

of hefty gulps and we went back into the living

room. I started to feel the dizzying affects of the

vodka, and had the answer to LaVonne’s per-

plexing question. Dad winked at me smiling like

a fox who had just raided the hen house. Booze

is the only answer, he whispered to me. I was

unquestionably my father’s son and eventually

wound up getting my own divorce. And subse-

quently, I too had a run in with financial difficul-

ties. I took to drinking too. However, for me,

no matter how hard I tried, I never could seem

to find any answers in the cheap brand of vodka

I could barely afford to drink at the time.

Chris Hanch 12-20-19