Tuesday, April 2, 2019

My Advice to You, Man


Oh, come on, Man,
It’s not all that bad,
not guns loaded and
bullets flying bad,
not rotting turnips
in the kitchen cupboard
bad, not the sun hasn’t
shown in a month
bad. Come on, Man,
it’s not staggering,
falling down drunk
bad, not locked up,
knocked up,
mumbly, bumbly,
pounding, wound up
tighter than a
drum, Man, not all that bad.
Neither, nor, not knee-capping,
face-slapping or
thrown under the bus bad.
Could be worse, wouldn’t you
agree? I say better them
than you and me, or you
and I said more appropriately.
Not nearly as bad as it
could be. Face the reality,
not as bad as retired with
a disability. Oh, let me
opine seriously about that.
It’s this goddamned hip
plaguing me again.
Oh, Come on, Man, it’s
not stolen identity or
bounced check bad,
not out of gas on the
interstate at rush-hour bad.
It’s not as if it’s the last
dollar you’ve had.
Remember the fix you
were in when the rent
couldn’t be paid, or
that day when things went
from bad to worse?
Look at it this way, Man,
being bad to the bone
can be a good thing
unless it shows up
on an x-ray. Then I
would recommend
seeing an 

ORTHOPEDIC
SPECIALIST

to check it out. Notice,
I emphasized that boldly
and in all caps.
This could really be

BAD!
.
And yet, I would suggest
getting a second opinion
about that. Sometimes,
you know, it’s not always
as bad as you think. Then
again, if I was you, I certainly
wouldn’t take any chances.

Chris Hanch 4-2-19

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