My Life Inside
As
Seen through the Aging Eyes of the Beholder
A
Photographic Sampler Arranged in Practical Disarray
by
Chris Hanch
My
friends, this offering of mine may seem a bit weird
and
unusual, but there are reasons behind my peculiar
eccentricites.
For the past 3-years, due to physical and
emotional
impairments, I have sequestered myself to the
confines
of my subterranean studio apartment in South
Kansas
City.
I
am accompanied by my loyal pup, Carmen, an eight
pound,
eight year old, Maltese-Poodle mix who is house
trained
to do her business on dogie pads at which she is
95-percent
accurate. (No one, including myself, is perfect.)
Carmen
is an energetic neurotic pup who clips along at
a
prancing pace, and barks at every noise which can be
heard
coming from the outside. She watches TV intently
with
me, and goes completely livid at every animal she
hears
or sees. I’ve tried to dissuade her from her obnox-
iously
loud unsocial behavior, but to no avail. That in-
cessant
yapper trait I fear is hopelessly emblazoned into
her
canine DNA. I have resigned myself to knowing all
the
commercials and shows which feature animals. And
being
quick-draw proficient with the remote, I am usually
able
to change the channels before the uproarious commo-
tion
gets out of hand.
Carmen
and I know one another well. Each move, words,
barks,
routines awake, mealtime, nap time and bedtime,
24-7
we are aware and in sync with one another through-
out
the day. She depends upon me, and willingly for com-
forting
compa- nionship I rely upon her.
One
may wonder why I have chosen to remain seques-
tered
from the outside world when there are many folks
with
disabilities more serious and acquit than mine who
manage
to get out and about? I’ll let the medical profes-
sionals
and would-be psychologists ponder and diagnose
that.
Simply, I am for the most part, at seventy-five years
of
age, having earlier on in my life traveled and moved
about
extensively, safe, secure and okay with my current
situation.
For the most part, without disrupting or disturb-
ing
anyone else, I can read, write, listen to music, watch
TV,
eat what I want when I want, scratch my ass, pick my
nose,
fart, belch, smoke, sleep and arise as I please.
I
have spent more than half my life in monogamous rela-
tionships,
and now in the twilight of my days, without
harming
or being subservient to another. I can pretty much
have
“it” my way. Besides, I have a painfully hard time
getting
around. And I gave my car to my son and daughter-
in-law
several years ago. I was a slave to the personal trans-
portation
beast maintenance and financially most of my life.
I
have thousands of photographs, artworks and writings to
remind
me of where I came from and where I have been.
My
computer, the internet, TV and Alexa can easily take
me
where I choose to be, and I need not spent hours prepar-
ing
to make myself presentable and acceptable to the per-
snickety
public at large.
Due
to my arthritis and severe tremors, I can no longer
create
my artworks, but I can write with the aid of a com-
puter.
And after several years of organizing my works, I
submitted
and was accepted to donate many of my works
to
my home State of Missouri’s Historical Society, one of
the
crowning achievements of my artistic lifetime. Taken
one
day at a time, better off than many, I am okay.
With
all that said, you may now have a better idea about
me,
where I have been, from where I’m coming, and
where
I am now three quarters of a century into my life.
Lord
knows, any day now none of this will matter to me
anymore.
For
your enlightenment as edification, I have taken some
representative
photographs of my pup, me and my imme-
diate
surroundings which I navigate effortlessly every day.
You
will note, I have given up the neat and tidy bit which
I
used to keep in the event a visitor knocked on my door
which
with the exception of my son who does my weekly
grocery
shopping or my daughter who comes to clean
once
a month, no one else does anymore.
I
am not a pack rat. There is simply not enough cabinet
or
closet space to put things away. I can see everything
and
it’s placed conveniently and easy to reach. No bugs,
no
mice or rats, just puppy, dust and me with Putin, Trump
and
MAGA Republicans to piss me off on TV.
For
the most part, I have accepted the hand life has dealt
me.
I’ll continue to dip into my Bucket List of Wishes
which
includes expressing myself each day for the dur-
ation
of whatever time is afforded me in this wild, woolly
and
satisfying life of mine.
CH
