My Life Inside

As Seen through the Aging Eyes of the Beholder

A Photographic Sampler Arranged in Practical Disarray

by Chris Hanch

My friends, this offering of mine may seem a bit weird

and unusual, but there are reasons behind my peculiar

eccentricites. For the past 3-years, due to physical and

emotional impairments, I have sequestered myself to the

confines of my subterranean studio apartment in South

Kansas City.

I am accompanied by my loyal pup, Carmen, an eight

pound, eight year old, Maltese-Poodle mix who is house

trained to do her business on dogie pads at which she is

95-percent accurate. (No one, including myself, is perfect.)

Carmen is an energetic neurotic pup who clips along at

a prancing pace, and barks at every noise which can be

heard coming from the outside. She watches TV intently

with me, and goes completely livid at every animal she

hears or sees. I’ve tried to dissuade her from her obnox-

iously loud unsocial behavior, but to no avail. That in-

cessant yapper trait I fear is hopelessly emblazoned into

her canine DNA. I have resigned myself to knowing all

the commercials and shows which feature animals. And

being quick-draw proficient with the remote, I am usually

able to change the channels before the uproarious commo-

tion gets out of hand.

Carmen and I know one another well. Each move, words,

barks, routines awake, mealtime, nap time and bedtime,

24-7 we are aware and in sync with one another through-

out the day. She depends upon me, and willingly for com-

forting compa- nionship I rely upon her.

One may wonder why I have chosen to remain seques-

tered from the outside world when there are many folks

with disabilities more serious and acquit than mine who

manage to get out and about? I’ll let the medical profes-

sionals and would-be psychologists ponder and diagnose

that. Simply, I am for the most part, at seventy-five years

of age, having earlier on in my life traveled and moved

about extensively, safe, secure and okay with my current

situation. For the most part, without disrupting or disturb-

ing anyone else, I can read, write, listen to music, watch

TV, eat what I want when I want, scratch my ass, pick my

nose, fart, belch, smoke, sleep and arise as I please.

I have spent more than half my life in monogamous rela-

tionships, and now in the twilight of my days, without

harming or being subservient to another. I can pretty much

have “it” my way. Besides, I have a painfully hard time

getting around. And I gave my car to my son and daughter-

in-law several years ago. I was a slave to the personal trans-

portation beast maintenance and financially most of my life.

I have thousands of photographs, artworks and writings to

remind me of where I came from and where I have been.

My computer, the internet, TV and Alexa can easily take

me where I choose to be, and I need not spent hours prepar-

ing to make myself presentable and acceptable to the per-

snickety public at large.

Due to my arthritis and severe tremors, I can no longer

create my artworks, but I can write with the aid of a com-

puter. And after several years of organizing my works, I

submitted and was accepted to donate many of my works

to my home State of Missouri’s Historical Society, one of

the crowning achievements of my artistic lifetime. Taken

one day at a time, better off than many, I am okay.

With all that said, you may now have a better idea about

me, where I have been, from where I’m coming, and

where I am now three quarters of a century into my life.

Lord knows, any day now none of this will matter to me

anymore.

For your enlightenment as edification, I have taken some

representative photographs of my pup, me and my imme-

diate surroundings which I navigate effortlessly every day.

You will note, I have given up the neat and tidy bit which

I used to keep in the event a visitor knocked on my door

which with the exception of my son who does my weekly

grocery shopping or my daughter who comes to clean

once a month, no one else does anymore.

I am not a pack rat. There is simply not enough cabinet

or closet space to put things away. I can see everything

and it’s placed conveniently and easy to reach. No bugs,

no mice or rats, just puppy, dust and me with Putin, Trump

and MAGA Republicans to piss me off on TV.

For the most part, I have accepted the hand life has dealt

me. I’ll continue to dip into my Bucket List of Wishes

which includes expressing myself each day for the dur-

ation of whatever time is afforded me in this wild, woolly

and satisfying life of mine.

CH