Smoking

 

I must confess, I am a lifetime smoker

of cigarettes mostly, though, on occasion

I have partaken in the long, slow draws

of cigars.

As a younger man when it was illegal,

I toked on some weed. It made me too

tired to continue the practice so I gave

it up.

But those damned cigarettes have had

me hooked from the age of twelve when

I began. And here I stand today still puf-

fing away…

before meals and after, morning till

night, through three marriages, dozens

of jobs, having moved from place to

place, through thick and thin, when I’m

relaxed and up tight, with coffee and

booze when I imbibed, and after sex

when I was in still in my prime.

Anytime was the right time, and for

me, any place it was allowed was per-

fectly fine.

Once my friend, Ronnie Barker (who

got me started in the first place), and

I sneaked up to the empty choir loft at

Holy Redeemer Church during the 8:00

Sunday Mass and shared a cigarette.

Don’t “hot box it,” he scolded me.

What’s that, I asked? It’s when you

take a bunch of drags all at once,

and it makes the thing too hot to

handle. Needless to say, I learned

cigarette etiquette from Ronnie

as well.

And 60-some years later in my ripe

old age, I still smoke like a chimney

today.

I suppose this is my penance for smoking

in church with Ronnie Barker during Mass,

one time in my youth. I figure that’s how

God has made me pay.

Often I wonder if he’s still alive? Ronnie

Barker that is, not God.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been

told that smoking is bad for you. And God

they say, He’s always watching. Supposedly,

He’ll be around forever, and I am left sitting

here smoking another cigarette biding my

time.

                    -30-

Chris Hanch 12-10-2020