On the Topic of Beards

In a conversation once, a woman told me

she didn’t trust men with beards. They all

have something to hide, she insisted. Per-

sonally, I have been a bearded wonder for

some thirty-years. And not that I cared, she

may have implied that I too by association

was not to be trusted. I have never been an

operative of the CIA, the FBI or any other

intelligence agency, foreign or domestic. I

have nothing of significance to hide. Well,

there was this time in Saginaw...but that was

nothing really. There is nothing earth-shaking,

news-worthy or so insidious that you might

think any less of me. Why, Abraham Lincoln

had facial hair, and historically he was consi-

dered worthy of most people’s trust. Even

Ulysses S. Grant sported a beard most of his

adulthood days. And had I been in the ranks

he commanded, I would have indeed held a

great deal of trust in him on the battlefield.

Plato, for god's sake, had a beard.

I could go on and on with my commendations

and accolades for men who choose to sport

beards in their varying lengths and styles. I

can also understand those women who prefer

their men to be clean-shaven because facial

hair may tend to tickle or otherwise irritate

sensually. Should I choose to hide something

or be untrustworthy, a stocking mask would

be far easier to maintain. Needless to say,

that woman and I never achieved an intimate

relationship. We didn’t get close enough for

trust to become an issue, even though she

herself was clean shaven at least as far as I

could see.

Chris Hanch 3-24-17