Reflection

Each morning as I look into the mirror, I can either be

honest about the what I’m seeing, or can choose to

glorify my ego with a lie. What I happen to witness

with my own eyes, admittedly, is a questionable matter

left to my own perception. It is then I am compelled to

decide…Oh what the hell, it’s all a crap shoot anyway—

I might as well go on. I suppose there will always be those

who are thinking that I must have been a funny looking

baby to begin with. (You, my friend, are certainly not a
sight for sore eyes.) 

Chris Hanch 1-9-18

The Me I was Formerly

What have I learned in this world

which has turned me? You may say

I am not the person I used to be.

Oh yes, age and mental conditioning

had something to do with the who

I have become—old and gray, the

cynical frame which surrounds me,

the wobbling and hobbling of an

unsteady gait I have grown to live

with throughout my days. Long

ago my train left the station,

chugging and puffing along to

its unknown destination. We are

all born fools of our own undoing

in the belief that we have it all

under control, twisting and turning

our Rubik's Cube life into its intended

aligning. All I ever did was to awaken

every morning, day after day for years

and years on end. So, what happens

then? You decide to turn around and

face another life when a stranger calls

out your name. That’s just the way it

is. It’s up to you, up to me, all of us

collectively can bask in some glory,

each accepting our share of the blame.

We have earned what we have learned.

No, I am not the person I used to be.

Look into my eyes and see. Yet, I shall

not forget the me I was formerly. And

still, albeit more cautiously, it is in my

nature to turn around when someone

calls out my name.

Chris Hanch 1-7-18

Directions to Old Age

Just because I am older and have

lived longer than you doesn’t

necessarily mean I know where

I’m going. I can assure you, I know

full-well where I have been and from

where I came.

As for me, and this may or may not

apply to you, I’d say it has been pretty

even, a fifty-fifty split—half this way,

and half that. I recall the road sign

indicating Peoria to the north and

Decatur to the south.

I ignored both and went on to St. Louis

instead. Eventually, that lead me to old

age in Kansas City and where I reside

with my two dogs today. All in all, K.C.

is a fairly decent place to be. But then

again, that’s just me.

I never really intended to stop in Peoria

or Decatur in the first place. I’m sure there

are a few old folks who did.

Chris Hanch 1-6-18

Another Lesson Learned

There was so much my dad neglected to

tell me as a child. Could be that he was just

waiting for the right time when he figured

I would be old enough to understand. (Perhaps

he didn’t have all the answers himself.) Yet, he

did teach me in his way when to be assertive,

and when to be patient—“Go for it! Wait for it;

give it time! The Earth is round, he’d tell me.

And gravity allows you to keep your feet firmly

planted on the ground.” He pointed to Orion

the Hunter outlined by the stars at night. I

couldn’t quite make out then the image he was

trying to show me. It took a few more years

before I could see a bit more clearly. “Next

time, son, ask me before you take the hammer

from my toolbox,” dad scolded, “and when you’re

done with it, make sure you put it back in where

you found it.” I was five-years old, and a sound

spanking from dad taught me that lesson, made

me realize that it was a good thing that I had

feigned making out that Orion thing. Turned out

to be one man’s vision anyway. But, I did learn at

a very young age, rather than a whooping, a little

white lie now and again didn’t smart nearly as bad.

Chris Hanch 1-5-18

My Mime Day Today

It’s a mime day for me,

sitting on a chair which

is not there, standing up

and abruptly waving my

arms about frantically,

placing hand over hand

against an invisible wall of

glass, pulling an invisible

rope with a straining weight

on the other end as I laugh

and cry without a chuckle

or a sob to be heard. My

life today constitues a run

in place, without getting

anywhere, speechless, as

my actions are decidedly

louder than my words. Oh,

and my face paint, flowered

derby, my black and white

striped shirt are a silent but

dead giveaway of the wacky

mimic I portray. That’s just

who I happen to be today…

Tell me, what in hell are you

dressed up to be?

Chris Hanch 1-3-18

No Longer the Need

2018. It has come to me, this New Year of

life past seventy, that I begin another day with

this profound thought for the very first time—

all I had won in my lifetime is now done. And

like all the stars and the sun, I shall no longer

take the advise of anyone. I am through with

whatever the doctors may prescribe to improve

my life. No magic pills to prolong, no diet or

exercise will I apply. There is no religion or sage

philosophy to entice me into believing that Nirvana

or heaven can be achieved. I don’t need pity, my

friends, and your understanding is no longer of

consequence to me. I am that fading star in the

ever expanding night, oozing what remains of

my light and life. This is and ever was always

meant for the likes of me—“To be or not to be?”…

Shakespeare had that conundrum figured out
all along.

Chris Hanch 1-2-18

The Need

Give me! I want! I need!

As a preverbal infant, I cried.

(This is all about me.)

Give me! I want! I need!

And as I grew into my vocabulary,

I learned to say, please.

Give me! I want! I need!

The more I learn, the more see,

the more I want, the more I need.

Give me! I want! I need!

Just one will not do. What if it breaks

or gets lost? I must have two.

Give me! I want! I need!

I smile, I plead, I bargain and I take.

I manipulate in order to get my way.

Give me! I want! I need!

As an adult, I question, I doubt, I pray.

I shun criticism and accept praise.

Ah, but today I say, the hell with, Give me!

I want! I need! as the scales of youthful wishes

and dreams have tipped unevenly the other way.

Instead, longevity in its wisdom has given me

not what I want or need, but rather the worldly

reality of white whiskers, arthritic pain, and

one more (or fewer) days of unsteady old age.

Considering all my lifetime gains and losses, I

didn’t really need all that much in the first place.

Chris Hanch 1-1-18